for ages

by Carb On Carb

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1.
in a Grey Lynn backyard for once I can see the stars with no mediation completely open and hoping out loud wrapped in jackets close to dusk with words too intensely felt we can see you overflowing come of age but keep growing
2.
Resilient you’ve got this right Don’t listen to parent’s advice You’re in control You’re not alone They’re getting old Surpass them all You’re in control You’re not alone They’re getting old Surpass them all Setbacks hard times Ahead and behind Power through this shit Give yourself credit You’re still here It’s been a rough year You’re still here It’s been a rough year You’re still here It’s been a rough year You’re still here You’re in control You’re not alone They’re getting old Surpass them all Resilient jaded and sore Don’t listen to them anymore Resilient you’ve got this right Don’t listen to parent’s advice anymore
3.
Home Again 2 03:10
What do I call home What do I call home Where do I call home I am I am I am I am I am Not giving this up I just I just I just I just I just Enjoy it too much Playing with my favourite bands Going to Disneyland Making friends around the world Escaping the New Zealand cold What do I call home What do I call home What do I call home What do I call home Where do I call home Who do I call (I am I am I am I am I am) I am not giving this up (I just I just I just I just I just) I just enjoy it too much You want me to settle down Find a job, make money Stop fucking around You want me to settle down Find a house, a husband Have a child All these expectations (All these expectations) All these expectations (All these expectations) (I am I am I am I am I am) What do I call home (I just I just I just I just I just) What do I call home (I am I am I am I am I am) Where do I call home (I just I just I just I just I just) Who do I call
4.
Man Says 02:14
Anything but ordinary I’m not like the others Convince them I’m different but pretend I’m not coloured Blend in, but stand out Be tough, but stay soft Be one of the boys Get hurt playing guitar I’ll assimilate I’ll fit around you I’ll blast hybrid theory after school too I’ll bleach and straighten Get a fringe I’ll even talk back to my parents Can’t wait to grow up Work in a vintage store You wouldn’t even recognise me anymore Nikki has been waiting patiently To turn seventeen To get out of south Auckland Find her true calling Blend in, but stand out Be tough, but stay soft Stop me I’ll act out Tell you to get lost I’ll assimilate I’ll fit around you I’ll blast hybrid theory After school too I’ll bleach and straighten Get a fringe I’ll even talk back to my parents Can’t wait to grow up Work in a vintage store You wouldn’t even recognise me anymore Stand on my bed Yell out my heart Pray my accent doesn’t blurt out
5.
not leaving my routine I might break I’ll work on my resilience today twenty-six and overdone hard enough to even learn where I’m from forgive yourself a break take a moment it can wait forgive yourself a break sometimes learning’s the best thing you can do today only half a page, seven coffees deep scrolling constantly, don’t forget to breathe absorbing everything I’ll stay awake might not get it straight away grow in moments, glowing screens I’m not ready to take the lead but I’m here I’m listening take a deep breath before I scream don’t forget to breathe don’t forget to breathe
6.
Ma 03:26
of her sheltered youth 
 she tells me 
everything she never knew 
 about the world 
about men 

 I hope that I’ll be able to dance as proudly and deliberately as her 
 I hope that I’ll be able to laugh as proudly and deliberately as her 

 I laugh when she writes on my band’s page, how proud she is  
she wants me to sing at her 80th birthday 
 if not, her funeral  

I’ll make sure that I’m there before that  
that I don’t show up, hungover again 
 late fresh off a plane, walking foolishly 
towards her empty casket  

I hope that I’ll be able to laugh as proudly and deliberately as her 

 I took her for granted 
she cleaned my teenage room 
 she never said much I try not to think about her 

 I wish that I had the chance to talk to her as an adult  
I really sucked as a preteen  
I wish that I had the chance to talk to her as an adult  
I really sucked as a preteen 

 as a preteen  

we’ll never know 
she refused to tell 

we urged her to write down our family tree 
on her deathbed
7.
teeth falling out for a second time what a prank, human life I still repeat mistakes I made at 17 getting older, getting wise is being content as your body dies getting older, getting wise is being happy as your body slowly dies but meeting teenage dreams a decade late is still satisfying not exactly what I want now pretty funny that’s how it turned out I just overcompensate overcompensate overcompensate I just overcompensate
8.
Annual Leave 03:26
In the articles, I've read common thought on the deathbed wish i didn’t work as much 55 sick days in the bank sorry you missed my 23rd I’ve heard you're pretty busy 40 hours a week I spend Monday mornings alone at the beach maybe see you at the next anniversary all the things you wanted to be buried under a 40-hour work week with everything you wish you could see 25 years at a fixed rate sorry but Glenfield’s not that great your coffee capsules save 2 hours a week you're always catching up on sleep maybe see you at the school jubilee out of alignment out of alignment out of alignment in the articles, I’ve read common thought on the deathbed wish I didn't work as much all the things you wanted to be wish I didn’t work as much with everything you wish you could see wish I didn’t work as much
9.
In a rural front yard I couldn’t climb that high Carved my initials in the side that tree is still alive I only see you annually Live with your stories all the time Rum and coke at the jazz show Goodbye at the airport as you cry I only see you annually Live with your stories all the time A moment you’ve already been Same setting sun forty years between
10.
Mitimiti 04:26
In this new cycle Leaving these islands Routine overseas We don’t go away to get away We don’t go away to get away Frost and fog won’t stop a swim the misty forest calls us in playing with our food and these ever-changing moods frost and fog won’t stop a swim taharoa calls us in amalgamate all our best parts thanks for giving me a chance the smiles we exchange full of teeth, reserved only for real friends frost and fog won’t stop a swim taharoa calls us in amalgamate all our best parts thanks for giving me a chance swerving through gravel roads crawling through small towns this wild west coast yelling songs out the car dargaville before dark people who mean the most gather on stolen land a few days unplanned on this wild west coast giving me a chance to learn who you are people who mean the most

credits

released May 4, 2018

Recorded by Dylan Adams in Coogee, Sydney, Australia
Mixed by Chris Teti at Silver Bullet Studios, CT, USA
Mastered by Dan Coutant at Sun Room Audio, NY, USA

Backing vocals on ‘Home Again 2’ and ‘Nicole’s Express’ by S. Petersen and T. Bowatte - recorded by H. Lilley at The Stomach, Palmerston North.
Cello on ‘Ma’ and ‘Extended Family’ by O. G. Wilding -
recorded by T. Lambert at Brokedown Palace, Wellington.

Invaluable advice by Miles Sutton
Album art by Nicole Gaffney
All songs by Nicole Gaffney and James Stuteley

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